Frequently Asked Questions About Kissing

Q. When kissing a girl, how would I know if the reason behind the kiss is merely sexual desire or that she truly loves me? In other words, would a girl kiss someone she does not love? And how would I know the difference between the two types of kisses?

A. Sure she would. Kissing does not mean you have to be in love with someone. It could mean that you like them or are just physically attracted to them.

I'm not really sure if there is a difference between a kiss that is love felt and one that is not. You can kiss passionately with someone that you are only physically attracted to and you can kiss passionately if you are in love. I would say that someone who kisses you who is in love with you will want to prolong the kiss. While someone who is not in love will want the kiss to be quick and then move onto the next level, which would be touching.

Kissing 101 - Your Complete Guide to Kissing and Techniques

Q. Hey, I'm going out with this girl and she and I really like each other, but we haven't kissed yet. What would you think would be the best place or way to really get the moment of the kiss so we can do it for awhile and not make it short. Should it be alone? If so, where would you suggest?

A. Yes, a great kiss should always be when you're alone with her. A movie theatre is a good place because it's dark and people won't be paying attention. Try to sit near the back, though, for privacy. But I do believe that a first kiss should be the good-bye kiss. When you're dropping her off at her place or saying good-bye from seeing one another until the next time, ask her if it's okay if you kiss her. It's not childish or geeky to ask a woman that. It's respectful and kind.

Q. Ok, I'm 16 and I really like this guy, and he really likes me, but I won't go out with him because I've never kissed a guy. And I lied to him and told him that I have. I really like him but I'm worried that if I tell him then he might tell someone else and it would get around school and I would be so embarrassed because I'm in 10th grade and never kissed a guy. We talk every night and he always asks why I won't go out with him, and I just tell him because I don't want a boyfriend now. HELP!!!!!

A. As I see it you have three options:

1. Be honest with him. If he really likes you then he'll understand and be gentle with you about it. If he doesn't, then you'll know right away that he wasn't worth the time in the first place.

2. Keep lieing to him and you'll never go out with him.

3. Don't say anything, go out with him, and enjoy your first kiss! Most likely he won't even notice that it's your first kiss. He'll make the move and you just follow. Kissing is so simple. It's not difficult at all and those who think it is, it's all a mindset because you don't know what to expect. But it's so easy if the guy makes the first move towards a kiss.

If you want to learn how to kiss, go to my kissing tips page at http://www.kissingbooth.com/kiss.htm and find out more. It's up to you how you're going to take it now.

Q. Your web page really helped me out. I haven't kissed a girl on the lips yet and I'm afraid to. I read through your kissing tips, but I don't know what to do when our lips meet. I am afraid of messing up because the girl I am going out with is experienced. So please help me out.

A. When your lips meet, just gently press yours against hers. If you wish, you can move your lips a bit back and forth against hers or in a small circular motion. The best type of kiss is when you meet hers at a slight angle. This gives more opportunities to explore, it feels nicer, and will give you a chance to French kiss if you wish.

Q. Hey!! I have a friend who is 15 and has never kissed a guy. She just recently asked another friend how you know when a guy wants to kiss you. We aren't quite sure how to answer that. Please e-mail me with what my friend and myself should do or with any suggestions that you might have for my kiss-less friend.

A. There are a few things to look for to see if a guy wants to kiss you. If he's standing really close to you while the two of you are facing one another. If you're on a date with a guy and he puts his arms around you or holds your hand. That is a very good sign! If you find a guy staring at you for a long time while you're with him. That is another very good sign.

Sometimes things like this are alot of guess work, especially if the guy is shy, but usually the above signs are a good indication that he wants to kiss you.

Q. Is it bad to have a really wet mouth? Is swallowing your spit before a good idea? And is it bad when your teeth touch each others?

A. It's not a good thing to have a really wet mouth. It makes for a slobbery kiss. Yes, swallowing before is a great idea! It happens sometimes when teeth bump. It even happens with my boyfriend and I once in a while and we've been together for over 15 months. Just laugh it off. Don't make a big deal about it and continue the kiss.

Q. I am 17 and have never been kissed until yesterday by my boyfriend. He knew it was my first kiss and he French kissed me, which really shocked me. I really had no idea what I was doing. Is there a way to tell him how I would rather be kissed without actually coming out and saying it?

A. Not really. Unless you tell him he's not going to know. The next time he kisses you, after you've finished the kiss, let him know that you would like to try kissing differently. Be sincere about it. When he asks you how, tell him nicely and calmly how you would like to be kissed. Don't get mad or frustrated with him. Communication is the key to a strong and healthy relationship. If you don't like French kissing tell him! There's nothing wrong with not liking it. Many people don't like it or are not ready for it. So when you're ready to tell him, remember: be sincere, don't put him down or the way he kisses, and let him know exactly what you'd like.

Q. Hi. I'm a 16 male that is dating a freshman female. We've been going out for about 3 weeks and it's going great. I have a problem with kissing her. I'm scared to do it. I don't know why. I've kissed other girls but I've never been scared to do it. I'm just afraid of Frenching her. I haven't ever done it to anyone. I somewhat know how to do it but I'm afraid I'll screw up. How should I go about Frenching her? I kind of know the basics to it, it's just that I'm not experienced with it so I was wondering if you could explain to me how to do it to every detail you can.

A. First, cup her face in your hands. Or, you can put your hands on her arms. Bring your face towards hers and leave your mouth a bit open. Tilt your head slightly to one side so that when your lips meet the top and bottom of your lips will meet the corners of her mouth. It doesn't have to be dead on so don't worry about that. When your lips meet hers, because your mouth is open hers will instinctively open, too. So wait until hers are open and then put your tongue in her mouth. Use just the tip of your tongue to touch hers. Rub the tip of your tongue over hers, either in a slow circle or up and down the front of hers. Now, you can either leave your lips the way they are or you can move them very slowly in a circle over hers.

Remember, this is not an exact science. Play around with it and find something that makes you feel comfortable and that you enjoy. But remember... do not force your tongue all the way in. Try using just the tip of your tongue on the tip of hers to get the idea of how far to put your tongue in her mouth.

It is very normal to feel nervous about French kissing for the first time. Since you are only 16 I'm sure she will understand if you're nervous or haven't done this yet. Who knows. Maybe she's never done it either! But it takes practise in order for someone to be able to do it without thinking about what to do.

After the two of you have kissed a few times, ask her what she likes about it or if there is something you can do that she enjoys that you haven't done before.

Q. When kissing or French kissing, is it better to close your mouth once in a while or just keep it open?

A. Definitely close it once in a while while kissing. Variation is very exciting in a kiss. Kissing only one way can be a bit boring and tiresome if the kiss is lasting a long time.

Q. My boyfriend and I have been going out for about a month and the relationship is great except our French kissing. We both seem to have two completely different styles in kissing and can't seem to get our tongues in sync no matter what. What do you suggest?

A. I would suggest talking to him about it. You tell him how you like to use your tongue and have him tell you how he likes it. Hopefully the two of you can come to some type of happy medium. Maybe it's not a matter of being in sync but that maybe the two of you don't like the way the other kisses. If that is the case then the two of you will have to talk about it.

Q. How should I approach a guy in a kiss? Like coming up to him and kissing him, how should I do it?

A. Just act naturally. Walk up to him, put your hands on his shoulders or on his upper arms and kiss him. There shouldn't be any thought to what is going on. Do what feels comfortable and natural for you. And you don't need to start off with a huge, open-mouthed kiss, either. Start with a small one and work your way up, so to speak.

Q. I just wanted to know how far you keep your mouth open when you make out?

A. If you have your mouth open too far it will feel like you and your partner are being smothered. Open your mouth up to what feels comfortable. There's no set rule as to how far you open it. You can open it slightly during one kiss, then the next time (usually during a more passionate kiss) open it a little more.

Q. Hi. I have a question... I had one of my first French kisses and I didn't know what to do with my tongue. How do I move it? And how do I switch head positions?

A. You can do whatever you feel comfortable with your tongue. Explore your partner's tongue with your own. Use the tip of your tongue to explore the tip of theirs. Or you can explore the inside of their mouth with just the tip of your tongue, like their teeth or the roof of their mouth. Just don't force your tongue all the way in. Move your tongue around gently and slowly.

To switch head positions, just break the kiss gently and turn your head to the other side. As simple as that!