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You may be saying "I
don't give out my
phone number." which
is perfectly fine.
I wouldn't give out
my phone number to
anyone who asks for
it either!
If someone asked for
your address or how
to find you at work
would you tell them?
Now that cell phones
are the norm they
are like a honing
device. It's
annoying when you
get unexpected calls
from people you
don't know hounding
you for your time.
The best way to get
a date with is to
VOLUNTARILY GIVE OUT
YOUR PHONE NUMBER.
The important part
is giving it to the
right person.
Debating about it is
nothing more than
protecting the ego.
Break up with your
ego and you will
have better dating
all around.
When you meet an
interesting dating
prospect in public
if you think you
will kick yourself
later if you lose
contact, don't let
them get away and
give them a way to
contact you.
If you find them to
be attractive but
don't feel any
sparks flying keep
your number to
yourself.
Offering your number
is a mutual
agreement that they
can call you
anytime. When you
ask and they do give
you their number it
doesn't necessarily
mean the same thing.
Here is a simple
solution that works
for women just as
well as men.
Send and Watch For
Signals
Let them know that
you are interested
with subtle
gestures: leaning in
and listening when
they speak, for
women: lightly
touching their
shoulder or hand
(Men: If a woman
touches you lightly,
that is a sure fire
sign she is
interested. But
don't touch her
until she touches
you first!), hold
your gaze for a
moment longer than
you normally would,
smile and compliment
them.
Once you two are
playing table tennis
with the flirting
cues, start getting
to know more about
them.
Are They Available
You don't have to
flat out ask "Do you
have a girlfriend?"
or boyfriend? Unless
you want to of
course. The easier
way is to keep
talking and finding
out more. Asking
questions helps them
reveal who they are.
They may slip and
tell you if they are
taken or not. Don't
underestimate the
power of getting to
know someone even if
you have limited
time.
When to Make Your
Move
The best time to
offer your number is
when the two of you
are getting ready to
part ways.
If you found the
conversation
stimulating and
sensed a true
connection start
looking for some
paper and a pen. You
say "I had a great
time talking to you.
We should do this
again sometime over
coffee or drinks.
Here's my number.
Let me know when a
good time is for
you"
See how easy that
was? It was forward,
to the point and not
as clingy as asking.
Even if you say
something like "Call
me if your bored
sometime" is better
than asking for
permission "Can I
get your phone
number?"(Please
please please! Oh
please!)
You could also
confirm first:
"Would you like to
have lunch
sometime?" if they
say yes, break out
the business cards.
They may be involved
at the moment, but
if you give them
your number and you
left a good
impression--you
might be the first
person they call
when they are free.
What if there is a
connection but their
credo is: I never
give out your phone
number. It's below
me. How will they
ever get a hold of
you if you don't do
it first?
Take Action
You have to act. If
you don't they might
not act either! You
will have lost your
chance of ever
seeing them again.
Asking for a phone
number is not
acting. It is
reacting to events
that have already
taken place. Acting
prompts future
events.
When you volunteer
your information:
you say "I'm a giver
not a taker (or an
asker)" and you give
the impression of
confidence.
You don't want to
play it off as if it
were no big deal if
they called you or
not. It's the chance
you have to take and
fortune favors the
bold. Give them your
number and expect
nothing in return,
not even a phone
call. If your phone
does ring that week,
consider it a bonus.
Don't ever ask "Are
you gonna call me?"
or say "You're not
going to call
me..are you?"
This is self
defeating and
slashes your
confidence stature
right in half.
You're right, they
probably wont call
you now that you
mentioned it!
It's also more
flattering to offer
something so prized
as your digits that
if there really was
a bit of chemistry
the other person
will most likely hit
you up at a later
date.
Give to a Good
Receiver
Sometimes we
convince ourselves
we are attracted to
the wrong people and
that is why so many
have the mantra:
never give out your
phone number they
aren't going to call
anyway.
When it comes to the
opposite sex, we
either create in our
heads something that
is not there and we
ignore red flags.
Often times we don't
care if there is a
connection or not.
They are so
appealing to us we
bypass all the
warning signs!
Men will force
themselves to like
someone who is cute
enough and women
will convince
themselves they like
a man because he has
a decent income. It
works both ways so
be aware of this. It
will help you in the
long run the next
time you are
debating if you want
someone to contact
you or not.
Exchange of
information can seem
like a social
obligation. The
mindset is: Here we
are, we just had a
conversation, time
to do the phone
number thing! It's
too robotic and you
can see why it
wouldn't work.
When you ask for
someones number you
sound needy and you
put them on the
spot. It's pushy,
demanding and too
much pressure when
you do call them.
Again you are taking
when you call them
out of the blue, not
giving.
If someone gives me
their number, to me,
they have a lot to
offer.
When you ask you are
thinking "This
person has a lot to
offer me." They may
not see things from
your point of view.
What exactly do you
have to offer them?
Maybe they didn't
catch the vibes you
felt. Now they feel
weird that you asked
for something so
personal. If there
was no connection
like you thought
there was, telling
them to call you is
a better option for
them think about
what they want to
do.
(That was a test you
are only supposed to
give your number out
to people who are
genuinely
interested!
When you ask for a
number you make the
other person feel
obligated to give it
to you.
Take this for
example: Women can
be too polite and
even if there is no
attraction they will
give there number
when you ask because
they don't know how
to turn you down.
When you call them
they screen their
calls and you get
their voice mail.
When you do talk to
them again they are
polite again in what
seems like stringing
you along because
they don't know how
to say they are not
interested.
When you give them
your number first
and they call, there
is no question they
are interested. So
why ask and play the
guessing game, call
them and then come
across as, well,
bothersome?
There you have it.
You have a greater
chance of success if
you give instead of
take. So always give
out your phone
number but only to
the right person.
©Copyright 2006
Jordan Pierce
Jordan
Pearce
started The
Digital
Dater
website to
present
views
specifically
for the
online
dater.
Jordan has
observed the
"war of the
sexes" and
attempts to
clarify that
most dating
issues are
not gender
specific,
but people
specific.
Learning the
myths of
dating is
the key to
having fun,
and makes
the dating
world run a
whole lot
smoother.
To see more
article
about online
dating check
out Jordans
site:
http://www.dynamicsofdating.com
Article
Source:
http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jordan_Pearce
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