Find Love Online - Your How-To Guide

To find love online can be the easiest or hardest way to meet your match partner.

Just as dating in the real world requires preparation, so does your online search for love require you to be ready with the things that others are also looking for. Think of online dating as a way to place your 'singles resume' in places where other singles congregate. After all, you can't find anyone if you aren't looking and they can't find you if you're not in the same place, at the same time, that they are.

Preparation:
You should begin your search by thinking about what is important to you in another person, the type of person you'd like to meet. A list of qualities that are important to you, another list of things you don't like and a third of types of things you are unsure about. Below is an example:

This type of exercise will help you become selective as you complete the matching profiles that most online matching services offer to help you find people to meet. Use the profile questions of the dating services you join to expand your list.

You should have at hand several digital photos of yourself ready to be added to the online profiles you'll be creating. This is an important step since every service you join that has the photo option will tell you that profiles with pictures have preferred treatment, showing up first in searches, getting more people looking at your profile and possibly even receiving free trials or extended member benefits not available to people that do not post a picture. If you don't own the equipment to create your own digital photos don't worry. Almost every photofinisher has the service available to scan and save your picture to disk. When joining online service sallow yourself the time to fully complete your profile, adding photos and voice messages where available.

Getting There:
A good rule of thumb for beginning your online dating experience is "Search Local, Begin Global". What this means is that you should begin posting your profile on the biggest online services since they will most likely have the most matching profiles of people in your area. But do not exclude smaller services that are directed towards specific types of singles. Read about the features offered, do a search to see if they have people from your area and don't worry too much about your first impression of anyone based on their posted profile. Make contact and see how the person responds before judging them.

Managing Replies:
Unless you have shown a lot of weirdness in your profile, you should be getting some replies and requests for contact within a couple of days. You should attempt to reply to all messages you receive within two or three days, so the person doesn't lose interest in you. A fresh new reply to each message you get is recommended, don't 'copy and paste' the same reply to everyone. Be personal and friendly, but not too revealing about yourself. Check out their profile and see if your interested. Remember, don't judge a book by it's cover!

Initiating Contact:
Often you'll come across the profiles of members that have joined a while ago and may not have logged in recently and you'll have to send the first message to them. That's fine. Keep in mind that most services email a member when they have a message waiting and you can use this feature to your advantage. Include in your first message why you messaged them, what you have in common (based on their completed profile) and a little about yourself. Keep the tone of your message friendly. This is not the time to express your undying love or sexual abilities. Unless you don't want a reply.

Beyond The First Contact:
After you have traded messages and the replies have been friendly and ongoing, the next step is chat contact or the phone. Private chats are a great way to get 'alone time' with the person in a 'real-time' conversation. If this is not possible because of the service features or missing computer hardware (no webcam), then move on to the phone call. Use an online service that acts as an intermediary phone service (blocks phone numbers from being revealed) or be use your call block service available from your phone company when calling the other person, just to be safe.

Meeting Face To Face:
There will come a time to meet in person. When conditions are right, this is a natural, and very big, step. Don't be afraid to suggest a short controlled date to meet and keep the conversation topics light and friendly. A local coffee shop or diner is a good place to arrange this. Have a friend nearby or scheduled for a phone call at the end of this date. Again, keeping in mind your safety. Your first date is discussed in more detail in this article.

Summary:
Be prepared by knowing the type of person you'd like to meet and the qualities that are really important to you.

Spend time completing your profile, all of the questions you feel comfortable answering. Include your photo.

Reply to messages promptly and send messages first to those members you find interesting.

Chat and voice phone calls are to be used to increase your friendship with others.

Face to face meetings should be under controlled circumstances
Links discussed in this article:
http://www.alovelinksplus.com/dating/biggest.htm
http://www.alovelinksplus.com/dating/phone.htm
http://www.alovelinksplus.com/advice/the_coffee_date.htm

This article is © 2003 cheerful attitude web design, http://www.aLoveLinksPlus.com and Robert Lee. It is available for reproduction in any format and for posting on your web site or for use in your newsletter as long as you maintain this copyright notice and send an e-mail to webmaster@alovelinksplus.com reporting your use of this article prior to publication.

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