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Let’s say during the last couple
of weeks you have communicated with someone of interest via emails
and several telephone conversations. There is obvious “phone
chemistry” and there is a mutual interest in meeting each other. You
both agree to meet in person -now for the moment of truth!
1. Visualize Success: Think about
your wonderful attributes and not your faults. Take an inventory of
your values, skills, talents, interests and “heart”. Leave all your
negative thoughts at home.
2. Keep Your Expectations in Check:
Don’t start imagining yourself at the alter with your date. Ask
yourself these 3 questions: Do I like the person? Does the
conversation flow easily with one another? Is there any kind of
attraction? That’s it. If you answer yes to these questions, then be
open to seeing the person again.
3. Dress Appropriately for a Date:
Be presentable, neat, well-groomed and in casual dress clothes.
Don’t come in a t-shirt and jeans for men and for women, do not come
dressed to kill by looking overly sexy like you are going to a
nightclub. Strive to look like the guy or girl next door and someone
who would be proper to bring home to their parents.
4. Be Prepared to discuss Five
General Topics: Prepare a list of topics such as current events; a
subject of personal interest such as your volunteer activities, your
work or outside work interests; any books you are reading; any
movies you have seen lately and favorite sports to watch or
participate in. Do not talk about your divorce or your last
boyfriend. If you have children, you may talk about them briefly- do
not bore your date with hours of stories about your kids.
5. Use Your Values as Your
Guideposts: Know what’s most important to you and look to see if
your date has similar feelings. Pay close attention to anything that
makes you uncomfortable-your gut is usually right!
6. Pick a Quiet Place Where You Can
Talk: Meeting at a coffee house or a bookstore is best. You may
decide to take a stroll if it feels right. Don’t get involved in a
meal since paying for the meal may become an issue. Also, don’t go
to a show or a movie where it’s difficult to talk.
7. Plan on Spending One to Two
Hours Max: The purpose is to see the person and to get a feel of a
person. It’s best not to drag the date on. Besides, you need to
leave some stuff to talk about during subsequent dates!
8. It is Best to Meet During the
Day: It is more relaxed to meet in the late morning or afternoon
during the weekend. A week day evening is the next best thing.
Weekend evenings are too much pressure and feel like a serious date.
You may be tempted to do stuff you will later regret!
9. Always Be Courteous and Kind to
Your Date – Even if You are not Interested: You never know where you
will see him or her again and who his or her friends are. Always
treat people the way you wish to be treated
10. If all goes well: Women- be
open to going out again. Studies have shown that women have gotten
married to men that they were not really interested in at first.
Men- trust your gut- if you are not attracted- be pleasant and be
honest. Never say, “I’ll call” and not call!
By following the above tips you
will most likely have a more pleasant first date experience.
Hopefully, it will lead to future dates if you so desire!
Copyright 2006 Heartmind
Connection, LLC
About The
Author
Amy Schoen, CPCC, is a certified professional life
coach who specializes in helping singles to discover
what they need and want in relationships and how to
find their desired romantic partner. For down to
earth tips and helpful hints on dating and
relationships, you can subscribe to her popular
monthly ezine or her tele-seminars at:
http://www.heartmindconnection.com.
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1999 - 2007 Sheila's Kissing Booth
