Advice Archive

RELATIONSHIP

How can I get her back?

How can I get my boyfriend to spend some alone time with me?

How can I get my girlfriend to pay attention to me?

Did I do my gal injustice by cheating on her?

How can I tell if she's interested?

How can I find out if he loves me or just wants sex?

How can I show her that I really care while she's away and that when she gets back it will be like she never left?

How can I make him feel comfortable telling me how he feels?

What should I do about this guy I'm interested in?

Have her feelings changed for me?

How should I present a ring to a guy?

What should I do about my flirtatious boyfriend?

How can I make my friends accept my older boyfriend?

Should I stick around and wait for him to decide?

Will she do the same thing to me again?

How do I tell my Internet friend that I'm now involved with someone else?

I still care about my ex-boyfriend. What can I do?

What can my boyfriend and I do about these little fights?

DATING

Was I cheating with him?

How long should I wait before asking her out?

How do I get my boyfriend to take me out?

I haven't been out on a date yet with my boyfriend!

What should I talk about and wear on a first date?

KISSING

How can I spice up my kissing?

What do you think is the earliest time for kissing?

How are you supposed to move your tongue in a French kiss?

I've never French kissed my boyfriend and I'm scared I'll do it wrong.

How do I find out if she wants to kiss me or not?

What do her kisses mean?

How Can I Get Her Back? (Back to Top)

Hi Sheila, my name is Abel and I was going out with the most beautiful girl in the world her name is Erica. She's 24 years and I'm 20, she thinks it's a big age difference but I don't because I'm in love with her and maybe she's not but I've told her many times that age doesn't matter to find true love. But the biggest problem that I have is that I have broken up with her a little but more than a week and I miss her a lot we had already broken up two times already and we been seen each other close to 3 months and I can't get her out of mind every second that goes by. The reason I break up with her so many times is that I get tired of hearing her complain about everything that's around her such as work, friends, family, and so on I'm surprised she hadn't complained about me but I got tired of it because everytime I saw her she would always do that and we couldn't talk about what we felt about each other, she did tell me a few times that she always felt comfortable being around me but it was like we couldn't hold hands in public because she was afraid what people would say about us. But now that it has ended it comes to my mind that all she wanted is someone to really understand her and I feel like I failed by not listening to her. About more than a week has passed and I really miss her a lot I try talking things with her but she doesn't want to listen to me anymore. I tried to find her but she's always out of reach and busy. I was wondering if you can help me somehow win her attention one more time so we can talk about our relationship. Please help.

Answer:

It sounds like she doesn’t want to talk about the relationship.  Even though she may have been annoying by complaining a lot, she obviously got tired of you two breaking up and getting back together again.  And it sounds like the two of you need time apart from one another to figure out what the two of you really want.  If after three months she can’t talk to you about her feelings towards you then I would say she is not committed to the relationship in the first place.  She feels uncomfortable with the age difference, uncomfortable with what people think of the two of you and until she can come around from that, there really isn’t much chance of having a “healthy” relationship.  As far as I can see there is nothing to “understand” of her.  It sounds like you are a sound board for her complaints about people and work and whatnot.  In a healthy relationship there is give and take.  There is healthy communication between the two of you and from what you told me she is pretty self-absorbed about her own problems and not focused on the two of you.  My advice… give her space, which will give you time to figure out what you want out of a relationship.  A one-way relationship is not a healthy one.

How Can I Spice Up My Kissing? (Back to Top)

First off when kissing are you supposed to turn your head more sideways or vertical? also when im kissing/making out with my b/f i feel like im BORING and im doing everything wrong (but i cant think how i can spicen it up). im thinking this while im kissing him! i just cant enjoy kissing like i should.. whats wrong with me? im always to worried about what im doing cause i dont know if what im doing is right or wrong.

Answer:

The way you turn your head depends on the kiss.  Remember the one thing that I’ve said most often on my site: there is no ONE way to kiss.  Also, if you were a boring kisser to your boyfriend I’m sure he wouldn’t still be kissing you.  Why don’t you ask him how you can spice things up in your kissing? Ask him what he likes. And go to my site and check out the different ways of kissing and kissing games at www.kissingbooth.com/how_to_kiss.htm.  I also have another site at www.howtokiss.info that may help give you some ideas.

Was I Cheating With Him? (Back to Top)

Hey, me and my ex boyfriend have been apart for about six months now (and have remained really close friends) and now he's also dating someone again. well just recently we were playing truth or dare and he dared me to kiss him open mouthed. and i did. does that mean he cheated on his girlfriend? does that mean he might want me back? does it mean that i also helped him cheat? Help!

Answer:

How can I get my boyfriend to spend some alone time with me?  (Back to Top)

PLEASE HELP ME!!! I have a big problem with my boyfriend. I really want to be with my boyfriend, but at parties he always goes with his friends, and we never spend any time with each other (except at the movies which was only once). He says in his notes that he writes to me how he just wants to be alone with me all the time and I don't believe that because, like I said, he always goes off with his friends. I'm kinda shy, so I need some advice on how I can get him to actually talk to me and get him to actually be with me. Please don't say that I need to talk to him about this because I've tried that and it didn't work. And for me to talk to him (in general) I wouldn't know what to say. I'm 14 and I really appreciate your time. Thank you very much.

Answer:

If you've tried talking to him and it hasn't worked, I would suggest this.

The next time you go out and he spends time with his friends, hang around him! Go where he goes and don't just sit by yourself. If he won't go to you then you are going to have to go to him. If that doesn't work and talking doesn't help, then you will have to make a decision whether or not to put up with this or walk away and find someone worth your time.

How can I get my girlfriend to pay attention to me?   (Back to Top)

I have been with my girlfriend for more than 4 months, but it seems that she neglects me. On weekdays she would accompany her friend, while weekends with her family. She doesn't seem to care about me. Even on my birthday she didn't accompany me for just that one day. The reason she gave was that she thought that my friends will celebrate for me. Although we talk on the phone almost every day, it has been 18 days since I last saw her. The exam period is over and we are even studying in the same school, and yet we went out only a few days out of a 30 day month. Can you tell me what I should do?

Answer:

The best thing to do is to talk to her. Let her know how you feel, that you feel left out and would like to spend more time with her. Maybe she doesn't realize this. Communication is so very important in a relationship.

If she isn't making an effort to be with you more after you've talked to her, maybe the thing to do is to break it off and see other people. You can't force someone to be with you, yet on the other hand if they don't want to spend time with you then what is the point? But talk to her first and see what response you get from her.

Did I do my gal injustice by cheating on her?   (Back to Top)

I am currently involved in an Internet relationship and I love the girl dearly but I did something I should never have done. It's not like I don't love my long distance gal because I do but I felt I needed experience not for sexual performance when we meet but to make sure I can be kind, loving, gentle and caring enough for her to get the most pleasure. So I rang a pro and got her to visit. I asked her questions about things that shouldn't be published here but mainly out of being nieve and it went further. My question is that although I tried to learn more and I don't love the pro and I'd never do it again on my gal but was it the wrong thing to do? to learn? I mean I feel guilty - but I want to when I meet her for everything be perfect. I feel guilty now should I? I feel like a typical male although I wanted to learn more about anatomy and although it went further than that I learned lots about satisfying the opposite sex. Is this so wrong? Did I do my gal an injustice?

Mr. Cool

Answer:

Dear Mr. Cool:

You got a pro? Why didn't you rent a porno? You can learn lots of ways to please a woman by watching others. By getting a pro, you've shown that you really don't care about your gal, otherwise you wouldn't have had sex with another woman, no matter what the reason.

Yes, this was the wrong thing to do. Women want men to be faithful to them. If your gal had gone this route, would you have been understanding? Sex is never perfect. But it can be very beautiful if shared with someone you love. What you had with the pro was just sex and nothing but. With your gal, you want to make love. A big difference.

Yes you should feeling guilty...you cheated on your gal. But move on. Learn from it and if you want your relationship to work, don't let it happen again.

No, there is nothing wrong with wanting to learn how to sexually please your partner, but it has to be done tastefully. Buy a book, there are many out there on how to please a woman. There are even "how to" videos on pleasing your partner.

On a serious note, I hope you had safe sex. You wouldn't want to contract anything and spread it to your girlfriend.

I wish you the best of luck and take care.

How can I tell if she's interested?   (Back to Top)

I am a 26-year-old male that has just returned to College. I am a guy that loves to entertain people and many people have told me that I should try the comedy circuit. I have a hard time if I meet someone and they don't like me, I have this compelling need for people to like me. The problem is that I have never asked a girl out in my life, no kidding! I think I am a fairly good-looking guy and in the past I have only dated women that have asked me out. (It's probably the fear of rejection, part of the need for everyone to like me). My problem now is that I have met a girl and I have fallen head over heels for her. She is 19 (age is not a problem for me, I have dated women from plus nine years and minus six years before) and very confident in her sexuality. She openly talks about what her sexual preferences are too me, and seems to be attracted to me, but I can't be sure. She has mentioned that she has no problem dating older men. The main problem is that she is very reserved with her emotions and I can't read her at all. She has lots of male friends and I am afraid of falling into this category. I can't tell her just how much I like her because I'm afraid she'll think I'm rushing into it, and be turned off. She asks me to do stuff with her only when I pop in to say hi, but never calls me. She is very busy and I told her to call me anytime she is free and we will go out but has yet to do this. I don't want to seem like a bother but the only time I see her is when I take the initiative. I am getting mixed signals, we seem to have a great time together but when I gave her three roses for Valentine's she never even mentioned them until her mother brought the subject up, plus if I am invited to join her and her family on outings, her mother calls, not her! Please help me, I want to find out one way or another but I don't want to rush her but she seems to be the girl I've always been looking for.

Very confused and slightly scared.

Answer:

Dear Confused and Scared:

Thanks for coming to me with advice. What you are experiencing is quite common. Many men are afraid of rejection, so they tend to miss out because they don't take a chance. Life is full of risks. But we'll never succeed in life without taking any risks. Rejection can be scarey, but what if it turns out that this girl really does like you? If you don't take that chance, you could be missing out on something very beautiful.

It seems to me that she does have some sort of feelings for you, otherwise she wouldn't be bothering at all. I have no idea why she wouldn't say anything after receiving your flowers. Could be that she didn't know WHAT to say. But if she didn't like them and wasn't interested in you at all, she wouldn't be bothering with you at all.

One possibility is that she may be conventional in the fact that maybe she expects the man to make the phone call and for you to ask HER out on a date. Her asking you to hang out with her only when you're there in person tells me that she has already taken the initiative by letting you know that she wants to hang out with you. But by her not calling you signifies to me that she's waiting for you to officially start the actual dating process.

If you feel comfortable enough, go to her in person and ask her if she would like to sometime take in a movie or you could start out small and ask her out for coffee. If she says yes, wait a day and then phone her and ask her out. That's a great way to break the ice and still seem casual, and there are no risks involved. Also, if she says yes, then you definitely know she's interested.

You won't ever know how she feels without taking that first step.

Another thing that is very romantic is write her a poem. Women love romance and poems are very romantic. If you don't know how to write, go to a library and pick out a book on poetry and borrow a poem from there.

I hope this helps you out. I wish you the best of luck in this situation.

How can I find out if he loves me or just wants sex?   (Back to Top)

I am a young woman and am currently very much in love with a guy who is a year younger than me.

He is really great and I know that he cares about me a great deal.

The thing is, I am very unsure of myself because I have been through a lot of relationships and he has only been through 3. Most of my other boyfriends have only ever wanted one thing from me but this time I am not so sure. Although he has not made a move on me as yet, I am afraid that all he wants from me is sex.

How can I find out if that is what he wants or that he loves me for who I am and not what I can do in bed?

Please help as I am desperate to be loved and not screwed with.

Longing

Answer:

Dear Longing:

The only way that I can see to find out what he wants is just to keep an eye on his reactions to certain situations. For example, if he hints that he wants to have sex and you don't. If he respects your wish to wait then obviously he cares enough about you to wait. If he tries to persuade you to do something you don't want to do, then he's acting selfishly and his motive will be apparent.

Always listen to your instincts. This is very important also. If you've had no success in the past with men and you contribute that to giving in to sex too quickly, then listen to your instincts and hold back with this man. At least for a little while. Let him get to know you first. Enjoy each others company without having sex. When you feel ready or comfortable, then you can go further with it. If he truly cares about you, he will wait.

In my opinion if he hasn't made a move on you yet and you've been going out for a while, then it seems to me that he has good intentions. If all he wanted was sex, I'm sure he would have tried something already.

I hope this helps. Take care.

How can I show her that I really care while she's away and that when she gets back it will be like she never left?   (Back to Top)

I am a young man who is having a little problem expressing myself to someone. There are some other obstacles, so I'll get to the point. This girl is leaving for CA in several days. I probably won't see her again until she gets back in five months. I work with her, that's how I know her. I have told her that I liked her, and that I would like to go out with her. She is a little shy I think so answers don't come very easy. Plus I am sure she is confused because she is leaving, and will probably be gone by the time you read this. I gave her a note that told her exactly how I felt. I knew that she probably wouldn't say anything to me about it, so I heard all of the response from people she's talked to about it. One person said that she was thinking about going out with me when she got back. I asked why she was "thinking" and the answer was simply because no one can expect a five month jump in time. I do think she likes me, but I think she is sky, and very cautious. How can I show her that I really care for while she's away and that when she gets back it will be like she never left? I've had several ideas but they all seem a little too forward. What would you recommend? Thanks!

Answer:

It seems to me that you've done everything right so far. You've told her how you felt in a note, which I'm sure she will keep and look at from time to time. It is true, that it is hard to tell someone what will happen in the future (5 months' time), but there are a few things that you can do while she's away that will make her feel special.

1. You can send her some flowers. FTD has a great service that will deliver right to her door even though she lives in another city.

2. Phone her from time to time (maybe every other week) and ask her how she is doing where she is now.

3. Send her a cute card in the mail.

Those are just a few things you can do which I do not feel is too forward and which will let her know that you're thinking about her.

Chances are that if she's "thinking" about going out with you and you know that she's returning, if you do little things to tell her that you care, that she'll go out with you.

How can I make him feel comfortable telling me how he feels?   (Back to Top)

I've been with this guy for almost 2 years. He is a kind, caring, loving, lovable, interesting, funny, cute, smart, protective and very generous person!! The only adjective I can't say to describe him is sharing. I know you wonder " how can he be generous and not sharing?". Well it's not that kind of sharing. I mean he won't tell me his feelings. I am a very sensitive young lady. I really want to know how I can make him feel comfortable telling me how he feels without making him seem I want to know if he's hiding something. If you can give me some advice i would appreciate it. Thanks.

Answer:

That is one thing that I notice as a difference between MOST men and women, and that is that a lot of men have troubles with expressing their feelings for someone they love. It may be the way they were brought up or how society stereotypes a man into being tough and therefore they would feel less than macho if they were to be expressive. I'm not saying that all men are like this, but a good majority of them seem to be.

My suggestion would be to sit down and talk to him about this...calmly and quietly. Let him know how you feel, that you need to know how he feels, that this is very important to you. Ask him why he finds it hard to communicate his feelings to you.

It may be just a part of his personality. Something you may not be able to change. If that is the case, are you willing to accept him for who he is? It's obvious from what you told me that he is a kind man, worth staying with. And it's obvious you love him very much. If this is the case, then you may have to accept him for how he is.

What should I do about this guy I'm interested in?   (Back to Top)

Hello. I'm 21, never had a boyfriend and didn't intend to have one. I didn't care about guys and dating and stuff. With 3 months left before I graduate, my heart decides to crush on this guy. Great. I'm sure he likes me too, because he usually stares at me all the time, and he tried to talk to me numerous times. Since I was not interested in him at the time, I gave him wrong messages. Now that he stopped going after me, I find out that I cannot stop thinking about this dude. So now I have to make the moves to let him know that I like him back. But I'm not good at this see, since I've never dated before and stuff and I'm very shy. Anyway I've sent him secret admirer email messages, but that didn't work. I finally got the guts to talk to him once, and he was very interested in me. But he always hangs around with his guy friends so I can't really catch him alone. After that I haven't seen him for a whole 3 months even though we go to the same college campus. I emailed him how you're doing messages couple of times, but he rarely replies. Anyway, spring break is here and I really really want to hang out with him. I found out his phone number, but I don't wanna call him cause he never gave me his number. I don't want him to think that I'm a stalker or a weirdo. But I really really wanna talk to him and stuff (and get something going before I graduate). What should I do? Help please.

Answer:

Thanks for coming to me for advice. First of all, it sounds like you've got a good chance of getting this guy to go out with you. The problem is getting him alone. There are two ways you can go about this. One is to e-mail him a letter explaining how you've been thinking about him a lot lately and would like to get to know him better. Ask him if there is a way that the two of you can meet for coffee or drinks by yourselves. The other is to actually phone him. There is nothing wrong with a woman phoning a guy. Let him know that you wanted to give him a call so you asked someone for his number and you hope he doesn't mind you doing that. If he's interested, he'll actually be flattered! Then let him know that you would like to go out with him sometime, if there's a day or time that he is free to meet one on one for coffee or drinks. Like I said, there is nothing wrong with asking a guy out or even phoning him. It doesn't sound to me like you are stalking him and I'm sure he'll be touched that you feel this way. I hope this helps. Good luck.

Have her feelings changed for me?   (Back to Top)

Hi, I am a 15yr old and I am involved with a girl at my school. I had asked her out in the beginning of February, and she seemed very happy about it, and said yes. By the end of the week it was time to go on mid-winter recess. I wasn't able to enjoy my vacation that much because the only thing I really wanted to do was spend time with her, but I couldn't, she was away. When we both came back things had changed drastically. She wasn't speaking to me like we used to. We didn't pass each other notes in class nor did we go to lunch. I thought that she had started to hate me or something. She told me she had a lot on her mind, somehow I didn't believe it. It is now my Spring Vacation. Four weeks have gone on like this. All she does is spend time with all her other friends. She even spends time with some of my bests friends, nothing I should be worried about though because she hates them and it is a fact that they are not the best looking guys in school. We've only kissed twice, not even French. I honestly don't know what to do. I know for a fact that a lot of the other 9th grade girls like me but for some reason I am just so attracted to my girl I don't wanna give up.

Answer:

It sounds to me as if her feelings for you have changed since mid-winter recess, for whatever reason. Either she met someone else while you two were apart, or maybe she realized that you weren't what she really wanted. Either way, the only real way to find out is to ask her what is going on, otherwise you'll always be guessing.

Just because your friends may not be the best looking, does not mean that she thinks that way also. Maybe she has feelings for one of them, or for someone else.

If you want to try to get her back, the only thing I can think of is to woo her. Do some romantic things, special things for her. You can get some ideas at my site at http://www.kissingbooth.com/tips.com. Send her a romantic poem or letter in the mail. Write a list of all the things you love about her and give it to her, either in person or in the mail. Buy her a special gift that you wouldn't normally buy for her. Little things like that. I'm not saying that they will work, but it's worth a try.

I wish you the best with this situation. Take care.

How should I present a ring to a guy?   (Back to Top)

I was wondering if you had any ideas for me on how to present a ring to a guy. It's not an engagement ring or anything serious. I guess you could call it more of a 'friendship' ring. I was thinking about tying the ring onto a rose and giving it to him, but do guys really like to get flowers? I just want to give it to him in a unique and romantic way so he'll remember it later on. I would really appreciate it if you could throw out some ideas!

Answer:

Your idea of using the flower is a nice idea. "Most" men enjoy receiving flowers or a flower. But that has been done to death, I feel. Do something that isn't too showy. Something subtle. How about wrapping it in a box, within a box, within a box. Or putting it in a card. You could put the ring in your back pocket and tell him there is something in there for him, so he'd have to get it out himself. Or just outright give it to him! It is the thought behind it, after all. Not the presentation. Good luck.

What should I do about my flirtatious boyfriend?   (Back to Top)

I am a 14 year old female. Currently my boyfriend Gabriel has been flirting heavily with my friend Kaitlynn, whom I used to have a great relationship with (now she won't talk to me). Recently he wrote her a letter asking her out. That day a guy stopped me and asked me if I wanted a ride and I ended up French kissing him twice, giving him my address, getting his phone number and promising I'd call him. I love Gabriel and don't want to leave him. What should I do?

Answer:

First of all, don't call that other guy! You know nothing about him and he could end up being very dangerous. Secondly, it doesn't sound like your boyfriend is very faithful. Dump him and move on. He's not worth the heartache.

How can I make my friends accept my older boyfriend?   (Back to Top)

I am 18 and I met this guy who is 26. All my friends give me trouble because of the age difference. What should I do to help make things easier?

Answer:

Unfortunately there's not much that you can do. Your friends are going to think what they want to think. Age  differences are much more acceptable as you get older. If you were in your twenties and he in his thirties, they would probably be much more acceptable of the situation. Maybe they are just concerned for you that you may get hurt.  Just tell them that you really care for this guy and leave it at that. Let them go from there. I'm sure in time they will  come around.

Should I stick around and wait for him to decide?   (Back to Top)

I am a 19-year old involved with a 23-year old man. We have been together a little over three years. Recently, he told me he didn't know if he loved me like he used to. I will admit he does not show his affection like he used to. But he gives me mixed signals. For the last two years, he has been on my case to change to show him that I love him. I barely finally changed this past year and now he says he doesn't know if he wants to be with me. He wants me to give him time to decide what he really wants. We rarely talk on the phone and I saw him a couple of days ago and he held my hand and gave me a kiss. We also made love a few days before that but we are not together. He is really confusing me. My question is this: should I stick around and wait to see what he decides or should I let go forever?

Answer:

I would forget about him. Why should you change for anybody? If he can't accept you for who you are then he's not worth it. Look what's happened already. You changed to please him and then he didn't like it. It sounds as if nothing will make this guy happy. The answer is plain and simple: find someone who can love you for YOU!

Will she do the same thing to me again?   (Back to Top)

I recently visited your site and need some help on a question. I am a 16-year old male. I have liked this girl since December. When I asked her out, she said she didn't want a relationship at the time, but when she did it would be with me. Well, about one week later she was with another guy. This happened once again. About one month ago we started talking again. She apologized to me many times and said that all those times she really did like me. Well, we have been talking for about one month now. She said she wants to be with me this time, but she needs a little time first. Should I wait? Will she do the same thing to me once again? Please give me some advice, it would be greatly appreciated.

Answer:

It sounds like she's keeping you on a string. First she says she doesn't want a boyfriend and the next minute she has two different boyfriends. Then she says she does like you but needs some time. If she really likes you she wouldn't need time to think about anything. She would want to be with you right now. I wouldn't wait for her. Move on to someone who knows what they want. Not someone who doesn't have a clue.

How do I tell my Internet friend that I'm now involved with someone else?   (Back to Top)

Hi. I saw your cool web page and decided this sounded like the perfect opportunity! I am a 20-year old guy. I was e-mailing a girl in the U.S.A. a while ago. She said she was coming to Sydney, Australia (where I live) to study! Anyway, I didn't hear from her for a while and I met someone else and now she (the girl from the U.S.A.) has e-mailed me saying she's here and when do I want to meet with her! I e-mailed her back saying maybe we could meet some time. I tried to hint that it would be just as friends but it's obvious she wants more than that! What should I do? I can't say, "look, I'm seeing someone" because it will look like I've been leading her on. I don't want to hurt her feelings! Please help me! Any advice at all gratefully accepted.

Answer:

Be honest with her. Honesty is the best thing. Tell her that you hadn't heard from her in a while and thought she wasn't interested anymore. In the meantime, you met someone else who lives closer whom you are now seeing. Tell her that you wouldn't mind seeing her as friends if she's still interested in meeting you.

This is the only way I can see you resolving this situation. Don't lie because then you'll be getting yourself into an even deeper situation and may even jeopardize your current relationship. Honesty is the only option.

I still care about my ex-boyfriend. What can I do?   (Back to Top)

I have a serious problem. I've been with this guy for 9 months today and I really love him. He means so much to me. The only problem is that I still care about my ex-boyfriend. I don't want to hurt my boyfriend but I really want to find if something is still there between me and my ex. I can't find out what's between me and my ex without breaking up with my current boyfriend but I don't want to lose my boyfriend. What should I do?

Answer:

If you love your current boyfriend so much, why would you even want to bother with your ex? To do so would be taking a very big chance with your current relationship. You can't have your cake and eat it too. What if your ex is still interested? Then what? What would be the point to rehashing things again if you are happy with your current boyfriend? Stay away from your ex and concentrate on what you have with your current boyfriend. If you're still having feelings about your ex, maybe there is a problem in your current relationship that needs to be worked on. Find out what it is and do something about it before it is too late.

What can my boyfriend and I do about these little fights?   (Back to Top)

Hi. My girlfriend and I are constantly getting into really dumb fights over stupid little things, like twice a week. We both really love each other, but we used to not do this. Do you have any advice?

Answer:

I would suggest the next time you feel a fight coming on, to walk out of the room until the two of you have calmed down. Once you have, you will find that what the two of you were about to fight about isn't really that much at all and you will be able to communicate better when there aren't so many emotions flying around the room.

How long should I wait before asking her out?   (Back to Top)

I'm a 14-year old male. I've liked this girl for a long time and I was going to ask her out. But before I did she found out that I was going to because I asked her friends if she liked me. When I was about to ask her out she just ignored me after I said her name 3 times. One of her good friends told me that she doesn't want to go out with someone else but I don't know who it is. She also said that she doesn't want to go out with me now but not forever. I don't know how long I should wait before I ask her. But I really like her and I need to find a way to show her how much I do. So how long should I wait and how can I show her how much I care for her? Thanks.

Answer:

This girl doesn't sound like she's worth the time of day. It sounds as if she wants you on a string for when "she's ready", which isn't fair at all. Or considerate. She's not worth waiting for. No matter how nice she seems or how much you like her, do you really want to be treated like a puppy dog? I don't think so. Give her the brush off and get on with your life. Let her be the one begging to you.

How do I get my boyfriend to take me out?   (Back to Top)

Hi. I'm a 20 yr. old female and I'm sort of seeing this 27 yr. old guy. We have known each other for 5 years. He just got divorced and I really like him but he never calls me because he is afraid my parents will pick up. That's fine with me but when we are together we go at it kissing, hugging and touching but I'm a virgin and he knows that I want to have sex with him. But the thing that bothers me is that we never go out on dates or anything. I don't know how to tell him that I want to be dating him, not just messing around with him and not scare him away.

Answer:

Unless you say something to him, he'll have no idea how you feel. From the sound of things, it seems as if he just wants one thing, especially if he's never taken you out anywhere. The next time he tries to make a move, tell him that you would like to be taken out once in a while before the two of you proceed any further. If he doesn't go for it, get rid of him. He's not worth the time.

I haven't been out on a date yet with my boyfriend!   (Back to Top)

My boyfriend and I have been going out a little longer than 6 months and we still have not gone on a date. I know he loves me and I love him but whenever we plan something he always has to go to his dad's house or he has a baseball game. What should I do?

Answer:

I find that rather odd that after 6 months the two of you haven't gone out on a date. I would talk to your boyfriend about this and tell him how you feel. If he can't take the time to take you out and treat you right, then I'd move on and find someone who can treat you right.

What should I talk about and wear on a first date?   (Back to Top)

Hi Sheila! I am a 14 year old girl and I met this really nice 16 year old guy at rugby yesterday. I got his phone number and I called him today and we are going out next Saturday. The problem is I don't know him and I don't know what he expects on the first date and I don't know what to talk about and I don't know what to wear!!! Please help me!!!!

Answer:

It depends on where the two of you are going. If you're going out to dinner, dress up a little more. If you are going some place casual, like to a friend's house, a movie or to the mall, dress nicely but don't overdo it. Dresses are nice for more intimate occasions like dinners or lunches, but I prefer jeans when going some place more casual. A nice sweater and a pair of jeans, do your hair nicely and wear a bit of make-up and you're set.

As for talking, think of some things you would like to find out about him. Maybe write them down on a piece of paper and go over them. Think of a scenario the day before so you have some time to think of some things to say. Ask him what he did the night before, or if it is the evening, ask him what he did during the day. Ask him what he normally does on the weekend. Focus your attention and topics on him. Guys don't like it when you talk alot about yourself, unless he specifically asks you some things. But don't go into it cold turkey. Think of some things you'd like to talk about, write them down and get a better idea of where you'd like the conversation to start.

What do you think is the earliest time for kissing?   (Back to Top)

Hey! I have a question, truthfully... what do you think is the earliest age for kissing? Frenching?

Answer:

I would have to say 13, but only close mouthed kisses. French kissing shouldn't be introduced until around 15 or 16.

How are you supposed to move your tongue in a French kiss?   (Back to Top)

You said in advice on kissing that when you French kiss the tip of your tongue touches the tip of your partner's tongue, but you didn't say in what way you move your tongue. Please explain how you are supposed to move your tongue in a French kiss. Thank you.

Answer:

There is no one way to move your tongue. You can either just move it across the tip of his, or you can slide it down the side of his tongue (not too far though) and circle his. You can explore the inside of his mouth or even his teeth with your tongue. Whatever you feel comfortable with. Just remember not to force your tongue all the way in or it will feel like he's being suffocated.

I've never French kissed my boyfriend and I'm scared I'll do it wrong.   (Back to Top)

I have a boyfriend and everyone's always asking me why don't I French kiss him. But the problem is I never have and  I'm scared I'll do it wrong.

Answer:

I wouldn't be concerned about what other people think or say. It's what you feel comfortable with. Some people don't  like the idea of French kissing. But being nervous about it if you've never done it before is quite normal. I get alot of  people asking me the same question. To find out how to French kiss properly, go to my kissing page at  http://www.kissingbooth.com/kiss.htm. There you will get an idea of how to do it properly. But if you don't feel  comfortable with it and your boyfriend hasn't mentioned anything, I wouldn't worry about it. Maybe your boyfriend isn't too thrilled about the idea either. Ask him what he thinks. If he's game for it and so are you, then experiment with  what feels comfortable for the two of you. There is nothing wrong with asking and it's alot better than worrying about it.

How do I find out if she wants to kiss me or not?   (Back to Top)

My name is Don and I am 15 years old. I need some help. I want to french kiss my girlfriend and I don't know if she wants to yet. How do I find out if she wants to kiss me or not? Thanks for your help.

Answer:

Dear Don:

The only way to find out if she wants to is to ask. There is nothing wrong with asking her if it's okay to kiss her. Actually, it shows that you respect her and her feelings and that you're thinking about her interests. You can take a risk and just kiss her and wait for her reaction, but actually asking her is the safest and most respectful route to take. Good luck and take care.

What do her kisses mean?   (Back to Top)

When kissing a girl, how would I know if the reason behind the kiss is merely sexual desire or that she truly loves me? In other words, would a girl kiss someone she doesn't love? And how would I know the difference between the two type of kisses?

Answer:

Sure she would. Kissing does not mean you have to be in love with someone. It could mean that you like them or are just physically attracted to them.

I'm not really sure if there is a difference between a kiss that is love felt and one that is not. You can kiss passionately with someone that you are only physically attracted to and you can kiss passionately if you are in love. I would say that someone who kisses you who is in love with you will want to prolong the kiss. While someone who is not in love will want the kiss to be quick and then move onto the next level, which would be touching.